There is something that has been bothering me for a long while and this
morning, I was finally able to put words to it. It's having the wrong
mindset while doing what you're doing. I don't mean this in some deep
metaphysical sense; it's more concrete than that.
When I first started
my day job, I had just come out of years and years working
in retail. My first week or so at the day job, I kept alerting my
co-workers when I needed to go pee. Because, depending on the type of
retail job, you need to have store coverage all the time. Potty breaks
happen when
they can and you dash in and dash out. Sometimes working by yourself means you don't get a potty break. And it turned out that my new co-workers
really didn't care about my bathroom trips. I finally figured out that my retail mindset wasn't right
for my new job.
In my work world (two jobs, both non-profits, one a
school, the other a choir), there are folks who come from the business
world which, like the retail brain I had, is completely the wrong
mindset. The business world is fine and those folks who work in it
develop a certain type of attitude/behavior that makes sense in a
business world. They bring these same attitudes and behavior to the
school/choir world and it just doesn't work. Yes, there are PLENTY of
ways to take advantage of non-profits and their systems and all sorts of
politics you can create and play. But doing that doesn't come across as
being business-savy: it comes across as being a jerk and ruining the
workplace for everyone else. If you want big money, months of paid vacation,
a job where you can push your workload onto others, what-have-you,
please go work somewhere else. That type of mindset doesn't work here.
In a recession world, I've been surprised at how some people are allowed
to carry on while behaving pretty badly, but that's another
beauty/annoyance of non-profits: it sometimes takes a looooooooong time
for them to remove incompetent folks.
In the musical
world, I see the wrong mindset happening a lot when folks cross genres.
For instance, classical music is not competitive in the same way that
rock music is. Rock music: super easy to start/join a band, paid gigs
are difficult to get, and you're constantly competing head-to-head with
other bands for money, gigs, attention (like a "Battle of the Bands"
type of thing). Classical music: professional positions are terribly
difficult to get, with world-wide competition for each spot. However,
the ensembles aren't competing. You don't see the local choir take on
the local symphony, unless it's some sort of fun, fund-raising thing.
Most of the time, ensembles collaborate on big projects and help promote
each other's shows.
So classical musicians who join
rock band are sometimes surprised and annoyed with the competitive,
trash-talking nature of bands. It also doesn't help that a lot of bands
expect that to be your only musical project....which is just not how
the classical world works (where you gig for weddings, teach lessons,
play in a large group, play in a chamber group, and the band is one of
many things). And you're also absolutely NOT allowed to play for another
band, because that's BETRAYAL (unlike when I've been in several
orchestras at the same time...which creates exactly zero drama). Being in a rock
band is a lot like being in a relationship with a super jealous
significant other. I've seen a lot of classical folks play in a rock
band for a while, get tired of the drama, drop out, and go back to the
world they know. Their classical mindset is just wrong for rock.
When
rock folks enter the classical scene, they also bring the wrong type of
competitive mindset along with them. They purposefully create conflict
with other ensembles (or with other musicians in their section), which
comes across as being arrogant, unprofessional, and difficult to work
with. The local symphony doesn't care you started a rock quartet and
they aren't the least bit threatened by it. In fact, they'd probably be
open to collaboration. But marketing it like this big conflict is just
stupid. Classical folks tend to know each other and talk at
rehearsals. And reputations spread. And playing classical with a rock
mentality is just not going work long-term because eventually no one will want to play with you and your mindset.
All right, rant over. I've been dealing with a lot of wrong-mindset
folks for the last however long. I don't expect an end in sight. And
I'm totally assuming that my mindset is the correct one. It might not
be. I just know that New Yorkers make sense in New York. Classical Erin
makes sense playing with the symphony. Non-profit Erin doesn't
manipulate the systems at jobs to benefit me at the expense of everyone
else. And that I'm tired of stupid drama and feeling like a cranky goat
whenever it pops up. I just like to work and play and enjoy the folks
around me.
An Erinku:
goat-like
I sit, I bounce
I chew
I smack you with my head
