ACK!!

While there are beautiful moments in life you wish you could re-live over and over, there are sometimes those moments you wish you could unexist. I had one of those moments today when a squirrel peed on me. I squealed loudly, hopped around, and started cursing said squirrel. I tried wiping my arm off on someone’s lawn while being completely grossed out. I smelled of squirrel pee.

I smelled of squirrel pee on the bus. I smelled of squirrel pee on the light rail. I smelled of squirrel pee as I walked across the University. I washed my arm thoroughly with soap and water at school while looking at the flu-fear signs telling us to wash with soap and water after using the bathroom. Squirrel pee probably causes swine flu. Be afraid.

Moral of today’s lesson: squirrels pee from trees.

An Erinku:
green french press
…
stupid computer
trying to capitalize words
it shouldn’t.

Freak Out!!

All right. I know that sneezing in someone’s face is not considered cool. I know that licking someone else’s spoon before handing it to them is also not considered cool. I also know that people are way too freaked out about the flu. Yes, people die. But people die all the time. Sometimes they even die after getting hit by an ice cream truck…yet I will still flag down the ice cream man on hot summer evenings. I like to live on the edge.

Since I seem to enjoy drama, I am currently surrounded by people in the midst of a Grade-A-Flu-Freakout. Emails are being sent about the proper way to cover your mouth when coughing (hint: don’t cough or sneeze directly into someone’s face) and signs are going up reminding us to wash our hands after using the bathroom. As someone pointed out (please, remind me who you are, it was brilliant!): Just because I pee on my hands doesn’t mean I have swine flu. Ah, logic in the face of freak-out.

Today, there was much left-over pizza that I put out in the kitchen so everyone could inhale some. This, due to swine flu freak out, was immediately a dramatically huge no-no. So. I moved the pizza out into the lobby, where the swine flu virus is apparently impotent. So, it should follow that on the list of ways of avoiding the flu, we should include a little footnote about how our lobby is a wonderful virus-killing space. Bah, logic.

An Erinku (not a type of flu):
motorcycle
revving up
outside my window
scares the squirrels….good.

The Next Big Thing

I often come up with clever inventions of things that should be. There are many times when I’m not aware I’m coming up with something new. They’ll seem like an obvious thing that should exist at my local big box store and then after hours of frustrated wandering, I’ll ask and the bewildered look I get in return suggests I’m asking for something that doesn’t exist.

This is all well and good, but my best invention so far has the potential to go far: dehydrated water. It will come in pouches, or even in little water bottles. It can be marketed as purified dehydrated water straight from the purest source of dehydrated water. The instructions will be as follows: Dehydrated Water® is your source for premium filtered and highly purified dehydrated water. Dehydrated Water® is easy to use! Simply open pouch (or lid), add cool fresh water, and enjoy!

I’ve sometimes been told that my ideas are silly. But I just saw an ad for strapless suspenders and it makes me wonder…

An Erinku:
coffee cup
two and three
empty
used as paperweights