Specifics

In grad school, I learned that the more specific you can be about things, the funnier it is. For instance, when Nine Inch Nail's "Closer" comes on the radio, I like to insert very specific animals into the chorus. Prairie Dog is pretty funny. As is Blowfish. As is Emu.

I was thinking about this on my drive home (...you like a HUMMINGBIRD!) as the song came on (...you like an ANTELOPE!). I got to thinking about the many neurotic traits, bad habits and wierd thought processes I have luckily inherited. I hope to get over them and maybe someday come up my own, completely unique neurotic traits (...you like an AARDVARK!).

I do have many odd habits that will probably stick around. Like driving barefoot. Like always stopping at roadside lemonade stands and paying $1.00 for crappy lemonade. (...you like a KILLER WHALE!) Like letting cars in front of me in a traffic jam. Like hating to pick up the mail, folding cold clothes and eating apple pie. Blech. (...you like a PENQUIN!) Like singing wrong words in songs.

All I know is that I'm very good at mishearing what people say. I just heard Chris ask "Fish fillets for dinner? Piranha?"

To which I, confusedly, replied, "Well, they eat people, so that would make me, vicariously, a....um, that word where you eat your own kind?"

Chris says "A Christian?" (mishearing me)

At the same time I say "A Zombie?"

To which we both stare at each other wondering how a dinner question so quickly turned into the Christian Zombie conversation. Turns out, he was offering me fish and a beer. Not even close to a Christian Zombie (which would be a great alcohol drink name). Turns out the word I was trying to remember was "cannibal" not "zombie." (...you like a MAMMOTH!)

An Erinku:
clang
clang
clang
went the beer bottle