On Friday, the bus gods frowned upon my journey. In between one of four separate bus trips home, I saw someone drop and break an entire case of beer. The resulting "NO!!!!!!" of yelling echoed my internal cry of something equally important: nacho etiquette.
As beer poured forth over the curb, I thought of how people don't respect the "Super Chip." The "Super Chip" is, of course, that chip buried under much nacho goodness. It's the cheesy one, or the one soaked in sour cream, or salsa or whatever version of nirvana that is each person's nacho.
The real rules for nachos are:
1. eat from the side facing you. As the nachos empty out, you can start to encroach on other nacho "encampments."
2. the "Super Chip" should be the last chip to be eaten.
3. you CANNOT eat the "Super Chip" twice in row...it must rotate.
These rules are inherently true and can never be broken. It's an agreement you make to be born into a human body.
There are people who break these rules. For these folk, I wish massive dismay. These folk eat the super chip every time or they'll eat it right at the beginning. THIS IS WRONG! DO NOT ATTEMPT! You will lose friends over this.
I feel I always lecture about the super chip. I've even written angst-ridden poems about someone who always ate the super chip (grr). This etiquette came up recently as my out-of-town friend came and had nachos with me. She recited the three rules of and brought up different violations she'd seen. It's tragic, really. While many people can list a few of the ten commandments, so many people break the three nacho rules. I do my part by spouting off in pubs like your typical end-of-the-world/nachos-girl.
An Erinku:
smoke
drifting daintily
from kitchen to here
alarm: worryingly silent
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