Friday, February 5, 2010

Words can't quite capture the epic-ness

Right. I've gone off before about my spectactular lack of coordination. Today, I topped my own personal best. My story starts off...at a gym. Contrary to expectations, I did not faceplant on the cycling machine. Nor on the treadmill. I got through my little routine just fine. I did, however, stay a bit too long after sleeping in a bit too late. This, in turn, makes me zoom a little more quickly to the bus station.

In keeping with the irony that powers the universe, since I was running late, I was following the world's slowest driver. I waited through two rotations at one stoplight because he was overly cautious as well. My grumblings increased with each light rotation.

Finally, I zip into the parking lot. The last express bus is getting ready to leave, so I frantically grab my coat and purse, lock my doors and run full speed. For five steps. I tripped on a root in the little garden area. If I had my hands out, I could have done a cartwheel-like motion. Alas. My head is lucky enough to smack the soft dirt and return all my momentum back to the earth. I felt my feet tower above me before flumping back down. The momentum of that pops my upper body off the ground until gravity grabs me back. My shoe was flung.

I stood up and was grateful to realize that not only was my intended bus full of people staring, but there was another full bus pulling in to let folks off, and a third going in the other direction was parked in front of my bus. I, being full of reason and completely covered in dirt and decorative bark, quickly gathered my scattered things and trotted (not ran) back to my car as if I forgot something important.

Today, I'll drive to work because I really couldn't handle:
A) getting on that bus after the most spectactular 10 seconds of my life, and
B) I am still pulling bark pieces out of my pockets.

Moral of today's story: I'm going to avoid FailBlog for the next few days, on the off-chance that someone figured out a good place to tape running fails is at a bus station.

An Erinku (irony still powers the universe):
a sign at the bus station:
"Do not run after buses,
trip and fall conditions
may exist."

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