Near the Hobbit Hole are a variety of churches. One is called something like the Holy Comforter. This is not to be confused with a blanket, even though it’s spelled the same way and even though I really think it should be confused with a blanket. Oddly enough, the billboard outside of the blanket church is usually filled with very angry hellfire and brimstone messages (which aren’t exactly comforting) to off-set the nice, happy, hopeful billboard down the street at a different church.
As I passed the blanket church today, the billboard said something along the lines of, “HOLY EUCHARIST AT THE HOLY COMFORTER.” I, of course, mentally added “BATMAN!” to the end of their announcement. I went through a long phase of watching old-school campy Batman. My Batman is the one who carries a spray-can of Shark Repellent on his yellow belt; not the Batman who broods in the dark and talks with a gravelly, tortured voice.
This got me to wondering if one could get a hold of a can of Shark Repellent and then somehow find a church-like official to bless the can, if it would be a more effective product. Holy Shark Repellent, Batman! At this point, wondering if I had any brilliant items in my coat pockets (like mittens) I found my phone. These are the same pockets I checked three times last night for said phone. These pockets also have a few small holes…which obviously leads to: HOLEY MAGIC POCKETS, BATMAN!
An Erinku (Batman!)
My boxed wine
expired in February;
I drink it
anyways
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