Today, I went directly into the heart of yuppy-dom (or preppy-dom). I had a gift card that I wanted to use, and the nearest version of the store was smack in the middle of Cherry Creek. Sigh. I resisted valet parking (which is a whole other rant, by the way, since malls don't need valet!) and I avoided being hit by a variety of expensive brands of cars. Just because you still drive a Hummer, doesn't mean you don't need to look before pulling out into traffic!
Right. I had a mental shopping list for my trip. I needed more coffee things for my new espresso machine and I needed a good-size, single-serve, spaghetti making pot because my usual one has been leaking Teflon and the word on the street is that's bad.
I bypassed an entire floor of red underwear (Valentine's day is coming up, it seems) and made it safely to the kitchenware section. After 20 minutes of looking, it seems that only crazy people want a single pot. The way to go is to buy a $400 12-piece set. I could feel the pent-up angst I've had building for a few days reach the point where I physically had to walk away from the section with my hands covering my mouth to stop me from ranting aloud.
I'm glad none of the helper monkeys there asked if I was looking for something, because I would have been terribly clear about what I was looking for: "Say you are a girl living alone. Say you want to make spaghetti. What would you use? Maybe something called a pot? Say you have pans and cookie sheets and don't want to spend $400 on yet more pans and cookie sheets. Say you are in this particular store right now looking for a single spaghetti pot. Oh store helper monkey, tell me: WHERE ARE YOUR POTS?!"
Like I said, I've had some crankiness building for a little bit. So that was my internal rant, physically held in by my hands over my mouth. I wandered over to the coffee section and was happy to see everything I was looking for. I filled my little basket with much coffee happiness, purchased my purchases and left as fast as I could. Yuppiness is contagious and my immune system is overloaded. If I come down with a case of Abercrombie & Fitch, I'll need someone to slap me until I submit. Wuf. Creepy.
An Erinku:
bowl chair of tipping
I'll sit here
watching chick flicks
until I feel better
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