As I was drowsy last night, it occurred to me that I'm like a helium
atom. And after researching a bit more this morning, I'm modifying that to say
I'm more like a helium-4 atom. Besides my usual analogy that I float
through life like a three-day old helium balloon does, it occurred to me
that I'm a pretty complete unit. While a lot of folks feel a need to be
part of something bigger than themselves (whether that be a political
party, a movement of some sort, a member of religion, and onward), in
that sense, I don't so much.
I spent a lot of my
growing-up nights sleeping in my backyard without a tent. There was very
little light pollution and the night sky was brightly intense. And I
think staring at stars for so long warped my sense of scale as well as
warping my view on "belonging." Because I'm just a wee dot on part of a
wee dot in a vast, vast universe, it doesn't make much sense to me to
make more distinctions than that.
I have gone off
before about I think a major problem with egos running rampant is that
there is too much light pollution to allow for folks to do what humans
have done throughout history: for about half of each day, be faced with
how tiny, tiny we all really are. For a while, I was pretty passionate
about light pollution, but then I found out that I'm contending with a
lot of people who prefer to be inside, anyway. So it goes.
And
I know this is abstract and that I'm as consistent as the next person
with translating my views into real life. But I also know that the
longer I go without staring at the night sky, the more wrapped up I get
in things that don't really matter to me. So I'll continue to bob
through life like a three-day old balloon does and I'll fit in, in my
own way, in this big old universe of ours.
An Erinku:
open window
an invitation
for the lawnmower guy
to go by, again
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