Sometimes grim

I am nearing a year and a half milestone in my life: in February 2010, I was diagnosed with (and began treatment for) post-traumatic stress disorder. I went through several rather horrible experiences in a rather short time through 2009 and my typical methods for dealing with life challenges completely failed me. It turns out there are some events you can't laugh yourself through. Currently, I'm still rather grim on some topics and I've still got baggage (or luggage, since that's a more travel-friendly way of looking at things). But overall, I'm finally starting to enjoy my 30's.

It seems that where I was raised (and it could be the filters I look through), it was quietly understood that only screwed-up folk went to therapy, not normal people, so I ended up stalling looking for help for about five months, until things were too tough for me to handle anymore. PTSD is not a fun adventure and one I wouldn't wish on anyone (no matter their level of ass-hat-iness).

I haven't been terribly open about the details to too many people and I'm currently working through that on my own. My adventure of writing a novel last Labor Day weekend revolved solely around my situation and the different levels of hell I've been through, which is another reason no one has seen the novel, besides me. I'm gathering courage to re-read it and send it out into the world (with a pseudonym, of course).

Anyway, I guess this public-service-like announcement is to say that sometimes life situations kick your ass and that there is hope and help for you. In fact, you probably have someone in your circle that has been to (or is currently) in therapy and can refer you to someone who can help.

There are many situations where the person on the receiving end of a bad adventure (I actively try not to think of myself as a victim) remains silent, which only perpetuates the idea that hurtful actions are all right. I'm a big fan of pretending that you only have one little life on this big, beautiful planet, and that you need to try to be the best person you can be. And I mean that in a concrete, real way, not some abstract bullshit rationalization of how your actions are theoretically helping humanity. No. Be as decent a person as you can all the time and in all your interactions. The end.

An Erinku:
oh, the pain
of heat and humidity
dear thunderstorm
please start now!