Watch My Language

I look like a tea-drinking, good-girl, librarian. I know this. But the truth is, I'm none of these things. I've even spent a good many years doing many bad things to off-set this unfortunate aura. I thought of this today as I bounced off the corner of my work desk. I think I said, "Oh, jeez." Which, for me, is the weakest curse word I can come up with.

As I am nowhere near G-rated in my language, this got me to thinking about self-censorship. I had a teacher in high school who was notorious for swearing in class (think hell and damn, not the big boys). One day, some mild-mannered person did something and said "Oh, Dang!" The teacher stopped class and said, "if you feel like saying DAMN, and are thinking DAMN but say dang, it really doesn't matter what word you use to replace it. You're still swearing."

I wasn't really thinking "Oh, jeez" when I whacked the desk. I was actually thinking, "fucking hell, not again!" However. My day job is a professional-type place where saying "Ohmygod" causes people to flinch (and I enjoy it enough that I watch expectantly every time the word comes out), and bad words, like shit, are whispered while hoping other people don't hear or aren't offended. This is my first job like this. I'm used to the profanity flying through the air like so many spaghetti monsters.

I find I'm terribly democratic in my language. All words are equal in my sight and have the exact same chance of being used throughout my day. Even words I can't pronounce. I almost got in a fight once in class because there was a word I wouldn't use (which still makes me blush a little, it refers to a body part that is not the elbow) and someone called me out on it. Seriously called me out, like going to punch me because I wouldn't use it. I finally spit it out, blushing a brilliant shade of neon and ended the fight. The teacher was amused. Going to grad school for writing and language will lead to these sorts of things sometimes.

And while words have power, I would rather harness them for evil (and making people flinch) instead of being terrified by using the word that exactly expresses how I feel: hungry.

An Erinku:
frosty
early morning
car windows
broken scraper