Bad Role Models

We aren't as removed from cavemen days as we might like to think we are. It goes beyond the fact that when something is broken, (like the t.v., toaster, or lock on the window) out first instinct is to smack it. What is extra amusing to me is how often hitting things actually makes them work again. Besides this spectacular display of bashing things with our caveman clubs are a bunch of more disturbing examples.

I was out and about (or, if I'm channeling my inner Canadian, "oot and aboot") recently and found myself with a gaggle of women drinking cheap beer. As the pitchers flowed, we shared stories both awesome and sad. It turns out that every single one of them had been abused (sexually, emotionally, or physically) at some point by a partner or by an adult, almost exclusively male. Sadly, this is not the first time I've been out with a group of random women and found out about this common thread.

I think of this as I've lately been in a lot of arguments with multiple men that are of the opinion that it's natural and healthy to follow their "animalistic" instincts, especially when it comes to sex. The argument is that society expects a standard of sexual conduct and this is oppressive to women, especially when it comes to marriage. (By the way, the marriage contract predates the Middle Ages with the earliest one dating back to around 176 BCE. It was written to protect the WIFE financially in case of widowhood or divorce. It's called the Ketubah.) This suggests to me there is now a trend of incredible sexism in the name of free loving. Calling it feminism while making the case that "screwing around is a way of rebelling against society" is a new twist on forever-long interaction...or not so new if you heard, at all, of the 60's.

Anyway, having come from a pretty feminist background, I continue to argue that what makes us human, as opposed to being merely animals that learned to walk upright and develop opposable thumbs, is the ability to reflect on our desires and to act on them -- or not. To be aware (again) that we all share this little planet and that only focusing on our primitive urges, while fun, can have long-lasting repercussions on anyone not strong enough, physically or emotionally, to say no. While women may not often come with enough testosterone to bench press a slug bug, there are other strengths we've got.

Abuse is abuse is abuse. Sexual abuse is like the caveman dragging the unconscious victim back to the cave. Emotional and physical abuse is the smacking someone upside the head with a club until they either agree or until they are unconscious...at which point they are dragged back to the cave.

The whole "I'm just following my natural instincts" argument doesn't impress me much. It just makes me lose hope that we, as a species, are interested in moving forward. If humans didn't have more potential, it wouldn't take us so long to mature; we'd be out on our own by a year old...as are the other species that solely operate on instinct. Since we have big brains and the ability to use other parts of it to think, it takes significantly longer to develop.

When sticking your hand on a hot stove burner, it immediately retracts without conscious though. Living purely by instinct is the same way. It means you celebrate the body by partying hard and by screwing around. It feels good. It's not intellectual; it's not enlightened, nor is it the way of the future. It's just thoughtless.

An Erinku:
Thursdays' seriousness
always
catches me
by surprise